7 Scriptures on Forgiveness
Pray (Matthew 5:44)
Love and do good to the offender (Romans 12:9)
Don’t speak poorly of the offender (Romans 12:14)
Release them from your punishment (Romans 12:17-19)
Don’t celebrate their failures (Proverbs 24:17)
Treat them the way you want to be treated (Luke 6:31)
Stop dwelling on the past (how to here) (Isaiah 43:18)

Forgiveness is a Clear Command
Ephesians 4:32
We are to forgive because Elohim has forgiven us…not for any other reason. Not because the offender apologized, promised to never do it again or because we feel like it. We’ve been forgiven much and our call is to forgive much. It is also important to keep in mind, when we know our calling and choose not to do it…it’s sin (James 1:22-25). But when we choose to obey, even though it’s hard, we reap blessings (John 13:17).

Scriptures on Forgiveness and Blessings
Blessings are promised alongside obedience (Deuteronomy 30:16, John 13:17, James 1:25). Choosing to obey the command to forgive leads to blessing. Keep in mind that nothing is wasted in Elohim’s economy (more on purpose in pain here). He is known for turning ashes into beauty, mourning into joy and despair into praise (Isaiah 61:3). It is in a place of hurt that we find comfort and healing in the arms of Elohim. Plus, forgiveness has a two-fold blessing. The other person receives forgiveness, which often softens the heart and hopefully leads to repentance. But even more so, offering forgiveness brings peace that cannot accompany bitterness and resentment.
Luke 6:36-37 Mark 11:25-26 Phill 2:1-3 Matt 18:3-4

Matthew Outline – Matthew 18:15-21
Step 1 – Matt 18:15

Step 2 – Matt 8:16
Num 35:30
Deut 17:6
Deut 19:15
John 8:17
II Cor 13:1
Heb 10:28
Deut 17:1-12

Step 3 – Matt 18:17a
II Thess 3:14

Step 4 – Matt 18:17b
Final Result

Forgiveness and Challenging Situations
What if they do it again or don’t change?
The question of reconciling or releasing a relationship has nothing to do with forgiving. Peter asked this question in the gospels. Likely he pictured his own challenging relationships as YHWH Messiah talked about forgiveness. I picture him scratching his head as he asked, what if they keep doing the same thing over and over? This convo made it into the canon of Scripture because in His wisdom, Elohim knew this would be a challenge! Yet, His command to forgive is not dependent on our situation. Nor is it dependent on whether or not the other person changes.

I can’t forgive someone because it doesn’t feel sincere or genuine.
Remember, forgiveness is a verb, and an action. Scripture clearly gives the command to forgive. There is no additional criteria to feel like forgiving. Feelings are not reliable guides.
Encouragement: As we step out in faith and obedience, Elohim will do the heart part (AKA hard part). We are responsible to obey Elohim’s Word and entrust the rest to Elohim. He is faithful to work in us (Philippians 1:6).
James 5:16

What if they don’t say sorry?
Our calling is never dependent on another’s behavior. There is not command to forgive if the other person apologizes. It certainly helps the situation and sometimes makes forgiveness easier, but not necessary in order to move forward in obedience.

There is a quote that says, “forgive and forget.”
Although it sounds good and it is good advice it’s hard to do. We have to pray that we forget these things, but sometimes they might pop up in the back of our minds. What we must do is forget it from our speech. What I mean by that is never bring the matter up. It’s going to hurt your relationship even more. Love doesn’t keep bringing the matter up. Don’t even try to make it into a joke like some people do. Just forget it altogether. Many people say they forgive, but you can tell that they didn’t because when a small matter occurs, they treat it as a big matter because they hold on to the past. They are not really mad at the small matter, but they are still mad at the past. Sometimes they even bring up a large list of the past. This is very common among spouses in marriage. Keep no record of wrong just like YHWH Messiah kept no record. YHWH Messiah knows what we have done in the past. He knows of our transgressions, but when He died on the cross, He paid all of it. He set our sins aside and no longer brings it up. When we refuse to bring up an issue with others and truly forgive from our heart that is a reflection of our Savior and His great love.
Proverbs 17:9 Luke 23:34 Hebrews 8:12 Ephesians 1:7
Luke 11:4 Matt 5:43-45
There have been times when I have been praying and all I could think about is that my relationship is not right with someone. You try to switch your mind to other things, but it keeps on eating at you. You just have to finally say, “OK Elohim I will go make peace.” That doesn’t mean that we are to hang around people who continually hurt us, but we are to be at peace with everyone. Many times, it truly might not be your fault. Maybe someone took offense of a stupid situation. Maybe someone sinned against you. That has happened to me before many times. Someone slandered me, but I still was the one who sought reconciliation. I’ve heard people say things like “I don’t need him in my life,” but that was pride talking. That should not be our mindset. If possible, we should be at peace with all.
Matthew 5:23-24 Romans 12:16-18

Pride stops us from forgiving others.
We see it as weakness when it truly is strength. We don’t want to seem vulnerable by being the first person to apologize when usually both parties are feeling the same way. We must let go of the pride. Why keep it? I know it’s hard. Everything in us wants to keep the pride. We would rather end the relationship forever then let go of the pride. That is why we must bring it to YHWH. Elohim help me lose the pride. Elohim heal my wounded heart. We have to set our heart on His will. We go to Him and He helps us to say what needs to be said.
Proverbs 29:23 Proverbs 11:2 Proverbs 16:18

Without love no one will see YHWH. Love is what removes the pride. Love was poured out on the stake. We should not only have love for the person, but love for YHWH. “I can’t hold this grudge. Elohim’s love is too great for me to hold this grudge.” Also, when someone sins against us a lot of times it’s usually by people we love. Even though they sinned against us we know that we still love them, but we were hurt by their actions.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Colossians 3:13-14 1 Peter 4:8

Unforgiveness only hurts you in the end.
Holding grudges creates bitterness and hate. Don’t go kill someone in your mind. We have all done it before. We have all thought unrighteous things about people who sinned against us or did something we didn’t like. Unforgiveness is unhealthy. You are taking your eyes off of Messiah and Satan starts throwing things in your mind. Satan wants you to think about what you should have done or said in your confrontation. He wants you to think about violence. Our first thought shouldn’t be to throw up our middle fingers. We should immediately go to YHWH for help in removing these wicked desires and keeping our minds on Him. Sometimes we have to cry out to Him because the situation hurts and these evil desires are killing us.
Romans 12:19-21 Proverbs 16:32 Ephesians 4:26-27 Proverbs 14:29

Unforgiveness shows hatred.
Leviticus 19:17-18 Proverbs 10:12
We must not give up on others. Just like Elohim doesn’t give up on us we are not to give up on others. There are some people that are married to alcoholics and the alcoholic spouse continues to ask for forgiveness and I know it is hard for the other spouse. However, once again we must forgive.
Luke 17:3-4
Some people don’t know the seriousness of holding a grudge.
I John 2:9-11 I John 3:14-15 I John 4:20-2
People say things like, “but you just don’t know what he did.” Let me tell you something. You just don’t know what you did! You have sinned against a holy Elohim! You do nothing, but sin. Even your greatest works are filthy rags and they are never 100% fully for the glory of Elohim. Even the legal system shows that a good judge can’t forgive a criminal such as yourself. Elohim took your place. Elohim suffered for you on the cross. Elohim lived the life you couldn’t live. There are some people that used to curse YHWH Messiah, but now they trust in Him as their Lord and Savior. YHWH Messiah should have never forgiven them just like He should have never forgiven a wretched man such as myself. How dare you? If Elohim can forgive murderers, if Elohim can forgive blasphemers, if Elohim can forgive idolaters how come you can’t forgive for that small situation? Elohim would be just and loving if He sent us all to Hell. We cheer in movies when criminals get what they deserve. How dare you? If you can’t show mercy Elohim will not show mercy on you. Unforgiveness is evidence of an unbeliever. Repent. Forgive your parents, forgive that old friend, forgive your spouse, forgive your kids, forgive that person in your church. Don’t hold it in your heart any longer. Repent.
Matthew 6:14-15 Matthew 5:7

Saul was trying to kill David. David had the opportunity to kill Saul, but he forgave him and let YHWH handle the situation. If David can do it in his extreme situation, we have no excuse.
1 Samuel 24:10-12
Elohim can fix any relationship. Allow Elohim to work in you and the other party and make a broken thing beautiful. Go to Him and pray that His hands move in your life. Elohim is faithful to move.
Jeremiah 32:27
I want to add that sometimes we sin against people and we are ashamed of our actions. We might say, “sorry” to the offended person, but guilt still remains. Many people say that you have to forgive yourself, but that statement is not found in the Scriptures. We can either trust in Elohim’s mercy and forgiveness in Messiah or we can believe Satan and his lies. Confess your sins, let go, and move on. Trust in YHWH and ask Him for help with this situation and also with understanding His grace.

Scriptures on Forgiveness Wrap Up
Forgiveness is a crucial skill set in this broken world. It is also a difficult calling on the life of a believer. We must make the choice to obey the command to forgive. There are seven elements of forgiveness that are not contingent on other people, our circumstance or our feelings. Elohim promises to bless us when we obediently choose to forgive. Who is Elohim calling you to forgive?